Ross has been my absolute best friend since we began dating back when I was 15. He is the first person I want to talk to when anything major happens. Not my mom, my sister, or even my girlfriends. It's always Ross. But girlfriends have helped shape me into who I am, too. I wanted to take time to give a shout out to all of my former and current BFFs (I'm just using maiden names here, for nostalgia's sake, except for those who have been married since I've known them).
Cindy Bagenstos: my big sister... That type of friend that you don't get to choose, but are sort of stuck with all your life. She's pretty great, though. Since she was 7-1/2 when I finally came along, she helped teach me a lot of what I know (including how to read). As we grew up and she started having boyfriends, we weren't close at all. It wasn't until our cousin died in a car accident my sophomore year that she really demonstrated her love for me (just a simple, but emotional hug at the cemetery was all it took). I was her Maid of Honor a few days before my 19th birthday, and she was my Matron of Honor four years later. We truly bonded for the first time, though, over scrapbooking. In 2005, we both started making complicated scrapbooks, and we still love to spend time together doing that. I know she will always be there for me, and I'm grateful she's my one and only sibling.
Lynette Gates: While she was almost two years younger than me (but just one year behind me in school), Lynette was a close friend of mine from the time we could walk all through our school years and into our marriages. We went to the same church and our parents were in card club together. This meant that we got to spend one Saturday night a month staying up far too late playing video games, watching movies, eating a lot of food, and generally messing around. We were in band together in high school and sat beside each other as 1st clarinets, and we were incredibly close through college. Lynette was my Maid of Honor (beside my sister), and I was her Matron of Honor two years later. After we became parents, we started drifting apart. The attempts to stay in touch were less frequent and less wholehearted until sadly, we both stopped trying. Lynette's sweet mom died last September, and I was so grateful to be living back in IA so I could attend her funeral. It was bittersweet - so hard to say goodbye to an amazing woman, but so great to hug Lynette and cry with her after all those years. The good times we had together over the course of three decades are some of my favorite memories.
Cindy Bagenstos: my big sister... That type of friend that you don't get to choose, but are sort of stuck with all your life. She's pretty great, though. Since she was 7-1/2 when I finally came along, she helped teach me a lot of what I know (including how to read). As we grew up and she started having boyfriends, we weren't close at all. It wasn't until our cousin died in a car accident my sophomore year that she really demonstrated her love for me (just a simple, but emotional hug at the cemetery was all it took). I was her Maid of Honor a few days before my 19th birthday, and she was my Matron of Honor four years later. We truly bonded for the first time, though, over scrapbooking. In 2005, we both started making complicated scrapbooks, and we still love to spend time together doing that. I know she will always be there for me, and I'm grateful she's my one and only sibling.
Lynette Gates: While she was almost two years younger than me (but just one year behind me in school), Lynette was a close friend of mine from the time we could walk all through our school years and into our marriages. We went to the same church and our parents were in card club together. This meant that we got to spend one Saturday night a month staying up far too late playing video games, watching movies, eating a lot of food, and generally messing around. We were in band together in high school and sat beside each other as 1st clarinets, and we were incredibly close through college. Lynette was my Maid of Honor (beside my sister), and I was her Matron of Honor two years later. After we became parents, we started drifting apart. The attempts to stay in touch were less frequent and less wholehearted until sadly, we both stopped trying. Lynette's sweet mom died last September, and I was so grateful to be living back in IA so I could attend her funeral. It was bittersweet - so hard to say goodbye to an amazing woman, but so great to hug Lynette and cry with her after all those years. The good times we had together over the course of three decades are some of my favorite memories.
Holly Ryan: This girl was IT for me in preschool. She lived just a couple blocks away from me and our parents were friends. We stuck together like glue through kindergarten when her family devastated me by moving to FL. They came back to visit a few times, and we wrote letters and sent photos back and forth sporadically, but we lost touch after Holly got married. I searched for her on social media a few times with no luck. When Ross & I moved our family to WA in 2014, I felt the need to find her (my youngest was moving away from his BFF and it felt so familiar to me). Miraculously, there she was on Facebook! We've chatted through the miracle website several times and I really hope to see her when we take the kids to Disney World this November.
Stephanie Burgess: Steph's family moved to our hometown during kindergarten. I felt drawn to her right away, but Holly didn't really want to share me. ;) As it turned out, our older sisters became close friends too, so we spent a lot of time together over the next few years. We had the same teacher in 2nd and 4th grades, so we were inseparable those years. She was the perfect combination of shy and insanely hilarious.
Tracie Mehlert: The years that Steph wasn't in my class, Tracie was. We were BFFs in 1st, 3rd, and 5th grades. Ours was a competitive friendship. We were the top girls in our class, and we both wanted to be the smartest. The 3rd grade spelling bee came down to the two of us; Tracie sat on the floor and cried when I won (I did feel bad, but I wasn't giving up my purple construction paper ribbon). We also had big crushes on boys from 3rd grade on, and this is where I suffered. While I was the dorky, glasses-wearing nerd with short, curly hair, Tracie had long, flowing locks and never wore her glasses. Steph and Tracie became close in 6th grade (neither were in my class that year), and we all hung out some during middle school.
Sara Crooks: In 6th grade, Sara was in my class for the first time. We had grown up just down the street from each other, but had never been close since the last time we had class together was preschool. Well, we quickly made up for lost time by spending every waking moment (and many sleeping moments) together. I even joined band in 7th grade because I didn't want Sara to be in it without me. Our parents and teachers claimed we were attached at the hips through middle school. We branched out and had a big group of friends in high school (most often including Mel Fordice, Jennifer Schrader, Jennifer McGarvey, and Sylvia Coller - see my next BFF), but still spent many sleepovers gabbing together. Sara was one of my bridesmaids, and I was one of hers a couple years later. Since having kiddos, we mostly keep in touch via FB and Christmas cards.
Sylvia Coller: The two of us became friends in upper elementary and grew closer as high school progressed. We hung out a lot our senior year (she helped keep me sane while Ross was off at college). There were many, many laughs between us and lots of shenanigans with a couple of sophomore boys she befriended through drama. Good times. Oddly enough, she moved her family out to OR just a couple weeks after we moved to WA!
Teresa Coy: Teresa was in all of my design classes at UNI. Since we had many studio classes (several hours long) and only 13 of us stuck with the major all four years, we all got to know each other pretty well. Teresa was the most like me in class - on the quieter side, with a high school sweetheart, not really into partying on the weekends... We got along great, but lost touch after a year or two out of school. Last I heard she was still married to Chad and had three or four cute kids.
Jennifer Sharp: My other UNI design buddy. Also fairly quiet, not really into the party scene, and easy to laugh. We keep up with each other on FB, but not as much as we should since we both live in the DM area. Both Teresa and Jen were my personal attendants in my wedding.
Bea Songer: The one and only UNI friend who still knows me well is Bea. We wouldn't have met if it weren't for Ross and Jeff, Bea's husband. They had a lot of classes together and similar personalities, and became friends quickly. Bea and I hit it off, too. Jeff was in our wedding the summer after we graduated, and Ross was in theirs exactly a year later. For several years we took road trips with the Songers and others from their wedding party. Tons of fun memories from those travels! We still get together with them (and their four perfect offspring) whenever we can.
Tara Hamilton: When I went back to school for my second degree, I was a "non-traditional" student (i.e. "old"). That meant most of the "normal" students weren't looking to pal around with me. But Tara was amazingly mature and sarcastic, which appealed to me right away. We had a great time in the classes we shared, and Ross & I enjoyed getting to know Tara's fiance, Mike. We even drove several hours in a blizzard to watch them get married one December. As with many of my friendships, it sadly died out after we had children (thanks, kids...). We do exchange Christmas cards.
Jennifer Troendle: It was nice to become friends with a fellow "non-traditional" student at ISU, though. We found that we took our classes much more seriously than others, and we competed to be top of the class (no pesky spelling bees, though). ;) Ross & I still visit Jennifer and her family once a year or so.
Tricia Greteman: My first (and only full time) teaching job was at a Catholic school in DM. I bonded with the one and only other non-Catholic in the building. Tricia was the librarian, so we shared a huge love of books and nearly just as huge a disdain for the way we were looked down upon by the other middle school teachers and the resident priest. Later, we shared troubles in our attempts to become pregnant. She was my go-to person (when Ross was sick of me crying) when I needed to vent about fertility issues. Finally, I had my firstborn and began staying home. Tricia was one of the first to visit us once we were home with the baby. Almost exactly two years later, she finally had her first son and began staying home. We had lunch together once a week almost without fail. And then we became pregnant at the same time! It was so fun going through pregnancy with Tricia. Her second son was born 10 days before our daughter came along. They were adorable together. And then Tricia and her husband announced they were moving to Algona, which bummed me out. We've visited them there a handful of times, but we miss them.
Aimee Staudt: Aimee and her husband owned the townhome at the opposite end of the building from us when we bought our first home in Ankeny. They had a sweet beagle, and we thought they were such a cute couple. We stayed in touch, but really reconnected a few years later when we were both fitness instructors at the Y, and both dealing with pregnancy issues. Her firstborn is two months older than my daughter, so we used to get them together to play. I was sad when they moved to WDM (harder for our kids to date if they're not in the same school district), but we still try to get the families together on occasion.
Shonda Hershberger: I met Shonda in Pilates at the Y. We'd known each other distantly for several months before we realized that our sons shared the same (unique) name. After that, we became pretty close. I was even their nanny for a couple summers. We both love reading, and our husbands get along great.
Lisa Little: A neighbor of mine invited me to MOPS when my first was a baby. I didn't go until he was closer to three, and even then it was hard for me to leave him in a class room without me. I was not thrilled about being in a group of women; I'd always thought it was a challenge to become friends with women. But, I needed to meet other moms. While I was pregnant the second time, I met Lisa Little at a MOPS meeting (this was my second year attending MOPS). She was also expecting her second, and I immediately loved her. I have to admit, though, it wasn't until I learned that Bea would be working full time again and Tricia was moving, that I realized I needed to reach out to Lisa. I needed a new best friend, and I think God led me to Lisa. When she had her baby a month after my daughter was born, I took her a present and we sat and chatted. It wasn't long before we were getting our kids together to play so we could chat more. There were weeks that we got together several times, for several hours at a time! We were fast friends, and there hasn't been any looking back. Lisa is THE best girlfriend I have ever known. We sometimes seem to be the epitome of "opposites attract," but I would not want to live life without her. Being in WA 32 hours away from her was tough, but she visited me both years that we were there. That is a true friend.
Jessica Skinner: Ross met Jessica and her husband, Josh, at an Alpha class at church. They were quite a bit younger than us, but we started a couples small group with them and two other couples (we were the old ones with kids... the others were still pre-children). The Skinners invited us to a church retreat that furthered our faith journey more than we ever could have expected. Our marriage probably would not be nearly as strong as it is, if it weren't for Jessica and Josh. We owe them a lot!
Heather Southammavong: Ross actually got to know Heather before I did, too. They were in Alpha together when we were both expecting our third babies. As soon as I met Heather, I knew I was going to love her. Our families were close and growing closer when they moved to FL (just months before we moved to WA). We ended up in completely opposite corners of the country, but still keep in touch. It was far too short, but we all enjoyed Tropical Sno together last summer when they were visiting family here. We're hoping to see them in November on our big Disney trip. I know Heather loves the sunshine there, but I secretly hope they move back.
Amy Bishop: Amy is another MOPS friend. We probably first met during an icebreaker when we learned that we both have June birthdays. I've always loved how down to earth Amy is. She's so easy to talk to, and she shares my curse of naturally curly hair. She also married her high school sweetheart. The two of us became close when we were co-coordinators of the MOPS group for two years.
Clara Sorensen: MOPS again... Clara was co-coordinator with Lisa for the two years before Amy & I took over. She is just amazing. This woman has the best gift of praying aloud that I've ever been blessed to know. Her trust and faith have been a great example to me and many others. She cracks me up and encourages me all at the same time.
Jennifer Doering: One more time: MOPS. I was a little intimidated to be friends with this one at first. She has a perfect little body and always looks awesome. But, I love that she speaks her mind (and often what she speaks aloud is what is in my mind). Jen is the kind of friend you want to have around when you have a question that you want answered in a brutally honest way. Now I can't imagine not having Jen on my side. She's an awesome mom, too. These MOPS women are my glue. They keep me together when my hormones (and/or children) threaten to tear me apart. They will be my lifelong best friends.
Jen Stover: I don't even remember exactly how we met the Stovers, but it was through church. Jen and I had mutual friends from our days at UNI, and also some crazy health issues in common. She's so easy to talk with, and I always value her opinion on things. Also, we have to laugh at our husbands, who are so similar that it's bizarre. The Stovers are so much fun to chat with. We've been known to stay up way too late with them because we don't want to stop talking and laughing! Ross and I may or may not have secret dreams of our son marrying their daughter, but you didn't read that here.
Tally Whitmire: I met Tally at church when my daughter was in VBS with her oldest. Tally is gorgeous and always has a smile on her face. I loved this woman from the start. Strangely though, I think we became the closest after we both moved away from IA. I hadn't been in WA long when Tally's family moved to AR. Before long, we were on the phone a few times a month wallowing in our mutual homesickness. I can't wait to go meet her baby daughter in a couple weeks. Just like I long for the Southammavongs to come back, I hope with all my heart that the Whitmires will some day, too.
Wendy Kerker: When we moved to WA, Wendy was the first to make me feel warmly welcomed. Her family took our family on, serving us a homemade Christmas Eve brunch, spoiling our children when we needed childcare two weekends in a row, and amusing us with their never ending stories to no end (Wendy's husband has met Christopher Plummer! My only celebrity crush! [yes, I realize he's old enough to be my grandpa, but when he sings "Edelweiss" in The Sound of Music, my heart melts]).
Brittany Pinedo: Brittany is the person in WA that I miss with all my heart nearly every day. Her genuineness, her generosity, and her graciousness made her my favorite person in our (really awesome) neighborhood. I loved working with her, hosting garage sales together, and eating out with her (she and her husband are tremendous foodies). Oh, and her children... Seriously a great family. Her oldest babysat for us and made our oldest (three years younger than him) feel cool. We love them all. I am confident that Brittany (if not her whole family) will visit us in this flyover state. :)
Angie Hobbs: Last but certainly not least, Angie... I met her far too late in our time in WA. She only lived just down the hill from us (a 5-10 minute walk, depending on if you were going downhill or uphill), but we didn't meet until halfway through kindergarten last year. Our boys were buddies, so I wish we had planned a play date much earlier. I didn't meet Angie until January (we moved back to IA in July), but I felt like I could spend hours talking with her. We are kindred spirits. Why can't all my friends live within a 20 mile radius of me? Is that too much to ask?
Bree, thank you for opening my eyes to my friends. I haven't had time to list all of them here, but what I have written (which appears to be a short novel) proves to me that I have been blessed with an incredible amount of wonderful friendships. Even those that didn't last were profound in the years that I had them. If you haven't told your girlfriends how much they mean to you lately, make a point of doing it soon! What would we do without them???
P.S. If you're new to my blog and wondering what it's all about, check out the beginnings here.
P.S. If you're new to my blog and wondering what it's all about, check out the beginnings here.
