Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Summer Break!

It is officially here! I now have a soon-to-be preschooler, 1st grader, and 4th grader. Wow.

If you are panicking about how you are going to occupy your children this summer, please make use of this blog. Go back to my original post: Beating the Dreaded Brain Drain and run with it! I still need to post my ideas for letters P-Z, and I will indeed be doing that. I'll also be posting pics as my daughter and I take our ABC photos this summer. We are so excited for summer break!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Honoring my mom...

So, tomorrow is Mother's Day. I'd like to take this time to share the ways I think my mom did an amazing job parenting my sister and me (if you were at our Ankeny MOPS meeting yesterday, you heard me share some of this there).

Let me start by being completely honest. I was a very shy, fairly whiny, closet daddy's girl as a child. My sister is 7-1/2 years older than I am, and we've always joked that we had different parents (though we do share the same mother and father). In reality, she was just an easier child than I was, but our parents somehow became more relaxed as I grew. My sister was the outgoing, cheerful child. When we hit puberty, our personalities seemed to swap. She became more shy, and she told our mom EVERYTHING. I became more outgoing, very boy crazy, and I told our mom NOTHING. In 8th grade, my mom threatened not to let me get my driver's permit unless I brought my grades back up (I had received a B or two at mid-term, and she insisted that I would get A's, as I always had previously). She was convinced that there were two reasons my grades had slipped. First, I was "dumbing" myself down to be seen as less nerdy, and secondly, I was spending too much time pining after certain males in my classes. As usual, my mom was correct. I ended the year with all A's, and subsequently earned my permit. However, I was never more than a day without a boyfriend from mid-8th grade on. My poor Mom. And let's face it, I think we all try at times to not parent like our parents did. Or maybe I should say that we try to improve on some of our parents' parenting styles.

All of that said, there are a few things my mom did that I will be eternally grateful for. These are parenting skills I'm trying to emulate.

My mom taught me from an early age that I could make decisions for myself. Like most parents, she never wanted me to become a follower. I'm thankful that she had me take piano lessons, and I insist that my children will take at least a year of piano before trying any other instrument. Yet, when I told my mom that I wanted to stop taking lessons after one year, she let me quit. I did have my reasons for not enjoying my lessons, and she understood that. A few years later, many of my classmates decided to pick up instruments and join band. I chose not to do so. But, after becoming attached-at-the-hip best friends with my neighbor Sara, I asked to start the clarinet so I could be in band with her in 7th grade. Mom agreed, and our band director happily told her after a couple of lessons that I was a natural. I played first part and/or sat first chair from then until graduation. And in 5th grade, after two years in our school's talented & gifted program, which they called Omnibus (I never figured out why), I informed my mom that I didn't want to be in it anymore. Now that I have a 3rd grader who is pretty intelligent, I can easily imagine that my parents were really disappointed that I didn't want to take full advantage of the Omnibus program. Mom did her best to work through this decision with me, without just telling me I had to do it. She set up a meeting with my teacher and the principal, and they all talked with me about why I wanted to stop going. I finally got them to see that I'd always been embarrassed to leave the classroom for Omnibus. None of my close friends were in it with me; I disliked being seen as "the smart girl." The topics we studied didn't interest me, and I didn't like to miss out on what the rest of the class was doing when I was gone. In the end, Mom let me quit Omnibus. You may be thinking at this point that I sound like a quitter, but really I just know what I want to take part in and what I don't want to do.

Another major way my mom shaped me had to do with books. Because my sister was so much older when I was born, she was able to read to me from the start. When I was growing up, my mom would easily finish four or five books a week. She just devoured them. We rarely went to the mall when we didn't stop in Walden's Bookstore, where she'd always let me pick out a book or two. To this day, my favorite past time is reading a good book. Back in 5th grade, my mom and Mrs. Smit (who passed away last year, bless her heart) had the following discussion at parent teacher conferences:
Mrs. S.: Nikki reads too much.
Mom: What does that mean?
Mrs. S.: She rushes through her assignments so she can pick up her book and read.
Mom: Is she doing the assignments correctly?
Mrs. S.: Well, yes.
Mom: I don't see what the problem is...

Needless to say, I continued getting 100% on my assignments and I continued to get them done as quickly as I could so I could read. I mean, why waste time? ;) Also, I'm so grateful that my mom never censored my book choices. She trusted my book selections completely. I know she wasn't thrilled when I got into R.L. Stine, V.C. Andrews, and Stephen King, but she didn't stop me. I was in 6th grade when I read Go Ask Alice, which blew my mind. I still name that as one of my all-time favorites. My oldest loves to read as well. I've let him know that I'll never tell him he can't read any particular book. I may recommend that he wait until a certain level of maturity, but if he feels ready, he's welcome to go ahead. He knows that he can ask me about anything he doesn't understand, and he has a dictionary by his bed for words with which he's not familiar.

My husband and I are both proud of the fact that we did not drink alcohol until we were 21. That's right, we were legal. I know that makes it sound like we were from crazy tee-totaling families, but we weren't. In fact, neither of us remember our parents ever making a big deal out of alcohol. My parents were not big drinkers; they weren't even really social drinkers. They were excellent role models of having a great time without any alcohol involved. They've been in a card club that has got together monthly for as long as I can remember. There used to be a bottle of wine shared once in a while, but typically, they'd all drink water or pop. I do recall there being two cases of wine coolers in our garage refrigerator. In fact, I'm pretty sure they were in there for over a decade. My dad probably bought them on sale once thinking that someone in the card club might want one sometime. I wondered one time in high school what one of the Fuzzy Navel wine coolers would taste like. Then I quickly realized that because they'd been there for so long, it would be very obvious if one came up missing. Never crossed my mind again after that. My dad would have the occasional beer if his brothers came for a visit (which was once a year, at most). My mom would get a Brandy Alexander ice cream drink at their favorite supper club, Ced-Rel, if we went to celebrate a special occasion. She even let me try a sip when I was ten or so. I wasn't highly impressed. The group of friends I hung out with in high school didn't really drink, so I wasn't ever tempted to try. Believe it or not, I've still never been tipsy to this day. As I've mentioned in many previous posts, I'm a bit of a control freak. I cannot even imagine getting drunk enough to not remember what I had done the night before. No, thank you. Don't get me wrong, my husband and I do enjoy a good cocktail once in a while. I keep vodka and peach schnapps on hand at all times. I love a fruity martini or a daiquiri. But, I drink quite slowly, and I've never had more than two in one night. I'm hoping (and praying) that we are being as good of role models as our parents were when it comes to drinking.

These are the ways I believe my mom raised me well. I strive to allow my children to make informed decisions, read as many books as they long to read, and to show them alcohol is not necessary to have fun or to deal with emotions. I also love that my parents taught us how to talk with adults. Since our oldest prefers to talk with adults rather than kids his own age, I guess we're doing all right on that front.

I'd also like to apologize to my mom for spending years ignoring one of her best pieces of advice. Some time in early high school, Mom pinned a little note to my bulletin board. It read something along the lines of, "The most important thing you'll ever wear is your SMILE." I read it daily, and completely ignored it, especially in front of other people. If I had to be on stage for band, choir, presentations, or whatever, I rarely smiled. I honestly believed that if I smiled and looked like I was having fun, that would make me more vulnerable than I wanted to be. I wanted to always appear in control of everything, including my emotions, and for some reason, I thought that I would look silly if I was smiling. Oy. As a mom, of course I want to see my children smiling and appearing happy in front of other people! I feel terrible for the way I seemed unhappy so often. This struck me my junior year after my National Honor Society induction. A classmate's dad (who happened to be my parents' insurance agent) asked his daughter afterwards, "Does Nikki ever smile?" He was not aware that I overheard his comment. Though it saddened me, I still didn't feel comfortable enough in my own skin to let myself be genuine for years after that. I am so sorry for that, Mom.

There are so many ways we could be screwing up our children. I hope that by doing these things my mom did right, praying with them daily, and sharing lots of "I love you's," hugs, and kisses, they will grow up to want to parent more like us than not.

If you are blessed to still have your mom around, please thank her tomorrow for all of the things she did right! Happy Mother's Day. :)

*For those new to my blog, check out the beginnings of ABC Summers here.*

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

O is for...

... oodles of opportunities! And ONLY 13 more school days until summer break here!

Places to go that start with O:
*cities/towns near you (Omaha is worth a road trip from this area - great zoo, children's museum, shopping, etc.)
*Ohana Steakhouse
*Okaboji Bar & Grill
*Old Chicago Pizza
*Old Market Spaghetti Works
*Olive Garden
*Orange Leaf
*Outback Steakhouse
*ocean (if you are blessed to be near one)
*old-fashioned ice cream social or soda fountain
*open gyms (often at gymnastic clubs, churches, community centers, etc.)
*orchards (many have stores or play equipment even in the off-season)
*orchestra performance
*Otter Creek Park (or golf club, if you're into that)
*outside

Things to do that begin with O:
*play Old Maid or Operation
*go on an owl prowl
*find oak trees or orchids
*wear orange or overalls
*talk about the Olympics (or watch it if you're lucky enough to be in a summer Olympics year)
*draw an octopus, ostrich, owl, octagon, or oval with colors like ochre, olive, orange, or orchid
*have a play date with Olivia or Owen (or anyone else you know who starts with O)
*listen to music by artists starting with O or songs starting with O (Olivia Newton John, One Direction, Owl City... "Old Pajamas," "Obsessed by Trucks," "Our Imaginary Rhino," and "One Little Cookie," by Justin Roberts)
*practice writing the word "one"
*read books starting with O (Oh, The Places You'll Go!, On the Night You Were Born, or Outside Over There)
*watch movies that start with O, like Oceans, Old Yeller, or Oliver Twist
*watch episodes of TV show "Olivia"

Foods that start with O:
oatmeal (or oatmeal cookies)
olives
omelettes
onion rings
open-faced sandwiches
oranges
OJ
oregano (on anything Italian)
Ore Ida french fries or tator tots
Oreos
organic foods
orzo
Oscar Mayer bologna (or hot dogs - but you MUST sing the Oscar Mayer song when serving it)
oval-shaped snack crackers

Favorite O Bible verses:
"If you love me, you will obey my commands." John 14:15
"One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in very little is also dishonest in much." Luke 16:10

Once again, here are the photos my son took of his "found" O's. As you may imagine, it is quite easy to find a letter O around. I limited him to just a couple since I knew he'd otherwise have a memory card full of O's. The first photo below is of the awesome hollow log at Jester Park (that place is a treasure trove of found letters!). The second is from the rug in our home library.




Before I blog about the letter P, I'm going to share a little something for Mother's Day. :)

*For those new to my blog, check out the beginnings of ABC Summers here.*

Thursday, May 2, 2013

N is for...

... never too late for nieve? (that's Spanish for "snow") It's May 2nd and it is snowing big, white, fluffy snowflakes. This is the latest spring snowfall I remember ever experiencing. As a side note, I cannot believe how much I have written about weather since I began this blog...

Places to go that start with N:
*towns/cities near you starting with N
*Namaste India
*Nan's Nummies
*Nick's Bar & Grill
*Noodles & Company
*Noodle Zoo
*Northern Lights Pizza
*Neal Smith National Wildlife Refuge (Prairie City)
*Nollen Plaza
*national festival or competition of some sort
*Native American museum or pow-wow
*natural playscape at Jester Park
*playgrounds at Northwest Elementary or Northeast Elementary
*Northcreek Park (aka Frog Park)

Things to do that begin with N:
*play Name That Tune
*call or visit Nana
*watch movies starting with N (Nancy Drew or Nanny McPhee)
*listen to music by artists Natalie Cole, Newsboys, or Nichole Nordeman or songs starting with N ("Never," by Hyland, "Never Getting Lost," "New Haircut," "Nightlight," "Nothing Much in Tarshish," "No Spring Chicken," "Now You're Back!," or "Not Today," all by Justin Roberts)
*playdates with friends like Nate or Nick
*National Geographic (magazine or videos)
*go on a nature hike
*dress up with neckties or necklaces
*write a neighborhood newsletter (great activity for older children)
*find or make nests
*read the newspaper (appropriate sections, of course)
*watch kids' shows like Ni Hao Kai-lan
*read books starting with N ("The Night Pirates" is a personal favorite) or books about New York City
*view the night sky (live or at a planetarium)
*wear Nike gear or navy blue clothes
*practice writing and spelling the number nine
*make noodle necklaces
*draw a nonagon (a nine-sided shape)
*check out North America on a map
*find a video of the northern lights (unless you are blessed to live where you can see them)
*write notes to someone
*talk about nutrition

Foods that start with N:
nachos
Navy beans
nectarines
Neopolitan ice cream
Nestle chocolate chips or Nestle Crunch bars
New York style pizza
Nilla wafers
noodles
Northern beans
Nutella
Nutter Butter cookies
Nutty Bars
Nutrigrain bars
nuts

Favorite N Bible Verses:
The story of Noah in Genesis 5:32-10:1, and the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5 to teach children about the rewards of immediate obedience.

N was yet another challenging letter to "find" out and about during #1's photography summer. The first is obviously part of a fence. The second is a section of a climbing thing at one of the local parks. We practically had to stand on our heads to take the picture at the correct angle. I couldn't be satisfied with just one found N because I wanted to hang my son's name above his desk, and he has two Ns in his name. Because of my crazy anal retentiveness, I couldn't let both Ns be the same photo. ;)




On to the letter O next!

*For those new to my blog, check out the beginnings of ABC Summers here.*